


perchance to dream

by lonelyrealm



Series: Insomnia AU [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brush your teeth after reading this kind of fluff, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insomnia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:16:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7801528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelyrealm/pseuds/lonelyrealm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Did she say why? I mean, how could she have left you!? You of all people!? You’re the sweetest, most beautiful, intelli- oh!” Laura clapped a hand over her mouth.</p><p>AU in which Carmilla is kind of an insomniac and Laura is kind of lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	perchance to dream

 

Carmilla Karnstein would be a little more upset at the fact that she was still awake at two in the morning if it hadn’t been happening for the past few months. When it had started, she had tossed and turned until her back was sore and her bedhead impossible to sort in the morning. Now, she was practically resigned to it.

She twisted onto her side so she could at least glare at the red numbers on her alarm clock.

Oh.

Three in the morning.

Devil’s hour.

Fucking hell.

Even the neighbors’ shitty little dog that liked to bark well into the early hours was asleep.

The little shit.

Carmilla sat up and swung her legs over the side of her bed. There was no point in just lying there if she wasn’t going to sleep. She pulled apart the heavy curtains that framed her bedroom windows to peer outside. The night was silent. The moon peeked out from hazy clouds to cast its reflected light onto the streets below.

Maybe she could go for a walk.

Tire herself out instead.

Although that never worked either. But she could pretend, right?

The chilly November air cast goosebumps over the soft, pale skin that was left exposed by her sleeping shorts and tank top. The cold had never bothered her though. In fact, she found the prickling sensation almost pleasant at this point.

Not a single floorboard creaked as she moved silently through her house, getting dressed in jeans, a sweatshirt and her omnipresent combat boots. As she tugged on her leather jacket and a hat Perry had knitted for her, her eyes cast a lazy glance over the mess on her dining table. Heaps of papers she had to grade were littered on one side. The other, untouched side of the table contained a single, large box she hadn’t dared look at for months.

Tucking her keys and phone into her pocket, Carmilla closed the door behind her and walked out into the cold night, trying to keep the box out of her mind.

She had no idea where she was going, but it was better than sitting in that house for any longer than she had to. Her feet took her several blocks away from where she lived, past the coffee shop Perry ran, past the old cemetery teens liked to drink at, and past the diner she sometimes grabbed a bite from.

For a while, the only sound was the crunch of gravel beneath her boots and the occasional car driving by as it was a main street.

And then suddenly, when Carmilla turned the corner to avoid the house with the dog on the porch that liked to growl at her, there she was.

Carmilla came to a halt, head tilted in curiosity.

There was a girl standing there, under the only street lamp that didn’t seem remarkably dim on this winding road. She was petite, a little shorter than Carmilla herself, and bundled up in a heavy coat, scarf, hat and mittens. All of which did not match and clashed horribly. She had a look of consternation on her face and was currently pacing in a tiny circle. But despite her garish dress, the light coming down on her illuminated her like some kind of-

“Angel,” Carmilla breathed.

The girl must have heard because she suddenly started and jumped back slightly.

“Who’s there?!” she called in a shrill voice before her eyes, seeking a stranger, landed on Carmilla.

Carmilla didn’t move, stricken by something she could not identify.

“Uh, hello?” she continued, still wary.

Carmilla said nothing but found herself moving forward for a reason she couldn’t quite understand herself.

“Stay back!” the girl suddenly squeaked. Her hands dove into her pockets and pulled out a can of…?

“Is that bear spray?” Carmilla asked incredulously.

It was.

Carmilla burst out laughing.

The girl seemed to puff herself up angrily and Carmilla was reminded of birds that swelled their feathers to intimidate predators. She was too cute.

“It is and if you come any closer, you’ll- you’ll feel its wrath!”

Carmilla howled and placed her hands on her knees as she doubled over laughing. Was this girl serious?

“That bunched up face you make is hilarious, buttercup,” Carmilla finally wheezed as she straightened up, wiping a stay tear from her eyes.

The girl’s hands had lowered and she had a slackened look on her face. She was definitely staring back. Carmilla wondered if they were being affected by the same thing. She would be happy to stand in silence with this girl but right now, she really wanted to know who she was.

“Enjoying the view, cupcake?” she teased.

That snapped her out of her trance. Her hands bunched up into fists at her side.

“I have a name! And it’s not cupcake! It’s Laura.”

“Suit yourself, cupcake. I’m not here to harm you.” Carmilla held her hands up as she approached, finally encroaching on the light the street lamp was giving and standing mere feet from Laura.

After a moment of hesitation, Laura put the can of bear spray back into her pocket.

She then shyly met Carmilla’s gaze.

Carmilla felt something in her chest stir as her breath hitched. The light shone in Laura’s butterscotch colored eyes was brighter than the cutting fluorescent of the street lamp in the dark. Almost without thinking about it, she moved closer.

Laura let her, not breaking eye contact as they stood together, alone on the street.

Silence hung in the air between them. Carmilla was beginning to feel a sense of fate.

“So, uh, what are you doing here, stranger?” Laura whispered, as though reluctant to break the spell. Carmilla blinked. Almost slowly as though coming out of a dream.

She suddenly stepped back, scowling slightly at herself.

“It’s Carmilla.” She offered a hand.

Laura eagerly stuck a mitten clad hand in hers and shook enthusiastically. It was a mitten covered in some kind of cartoon. Carmilla rolled her eyes. Childlike was coming close to describing this girl. Just as much as intriguing.

“Ok, Carmilla, what are you doing out here?”

“I don’t have to answer that,” Carmilla sneered, “Why do you look like you’ve gotten yourself into trouble?”

Laura suddenly flushed, cheeks stained a rosy pink that Carmilla found to be adorable. She muttered something and turned away but Carmilla caught her arm and pulled her back to face her. Bringing a hand to her ear, Carmilla exaggerated trying to catch what Laura just muttered.

“What was that, cupcake? My hearing hasn’t been quite the same since you shrieked at me earlier.”

“I don’t shriek!” Laura cried, annoyed. She squirmed out of Carmilla’s grip and folded her arms over her chest. Carmilla was happy to note that she didn’t back up, staying within arm’s reach.

“C’mon, cupcake, I don’t have all night. You looked like you needed help.”

“You don’t look so busy,” Laura diverted, “What were you going to do? Brood in the dark somewhere?”

It got a chuckle out of Carmilla who promptly noticed the way Laura was staring at her again. She lifted a shoulder in a half shrug,

“Well, I certainly can’t leave a cute girl here alone at night. I’m out here because I couldn’t sleep, cupcake. Nothing else to it. Now your turn.”

The wrinkle in Laura’s forehead disappeared as she scanned Carmilla’s face again. Her eyes lingered on tired eyes. Carmilla cleared her throat, waiting for an answer. Laura sighed, as though she were about divulge the worst thing she had ever done, “I got lost on my way.”

Carmilla couldn’t help the smirk blooming across her face. Laura pouted again, making the scrunched up angry face Carmilla was quickly becoming fond of.

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing, sweetheart.”

“It’s Laura. Laura Hollis. Did you forget?”

“I couldn’t forget you if I tried, creampuff.”

The words were out before Carmilla could even filter them. Something about Laura made her want to prolong their little interaction.

Laura looked shy again and stared at her shoes instead. Carmilla noted they had the same hideous cartoon on them as her gloves.

“I could help you find your way, you know. Where are you going?” Carmilla asked softly. Laura looked up in relief but seemed to debate with herself whether or not to divulge such information. Carmilla waited patiently, content with the quiet.

“I live on Silas Avenue,” Laura finally said. “I just moved back here because I got a job at the paper and I wanted to explore the area because I’m still getting used to the time zone change and maybe visit my mother but I didn’t realize how far it actually was from my place and-“

“Whoa, breathe, cupcake. And for the love of God, never give up that much information to a stranger.”

“You said you wouldn’t harm me!”

“And you just believed a stranger like me?”

They stared at each other, both in slight disbelief.

“I know krav maga!” Laura suddenly exclaimed.

“What? Is that some kind of dance?” Carmilla smirked. Purely to get a rise out of the girl. And of course it worked.

“Ugh! You’re impossible! I can’t believe out of everyone in this stupid little town I had to run into y-!” A hand cut off what was certain to be a harangue that would wake up everyone on the silent street.

Laura stared up into somber, brown eyes, hands gripping Carmilla’s arm. She wordlessly noted that Carmilla was probably not meant to be taken lightly from the toned bicep she gripped.

“I’ll help you get home,” Carmilla said in a resolute tone, “but we can’t have you waking everyone up right now. It’s rude, cupcake.”

She let go and winked before stepping back, the infuriating smirk back in its place. Laura scowled but stayed quiet.

“We’re on Sheridan Drive so your street is only a couple of blocks that way. Let’s go,” Carmilla said, offering an arm. Laura hesitated for a moment before placing her hand in the crook of Carmilla’s elbow and letting her lead the way.

The two walked in silence for a few minutes, neither rushing the pace.

“Did you really come out here because you couldn’t sleep?” Laura asked softly.

“I’m kind of an insomniac,” Carmilla admitted.

“Kind of?”

“Do you want the doctor’s full diagnosis?”

“No, sorry. You just don’t sleep? Or do you have trouble staying asleep?”

“Little bit of both,” Carmilla replied. Laura chanced a glance up at her and noticed the way Carmilla’s eyes just seemed so sad and resigned.

And tired.

Laura’s chest ached for her.

“Do you get tired at work or…?”

“I teach a bunch of Philosophy courses at the University. I love it so, naturally, I can do it with or without sleep.”

“I’m sorry you can’t sleep,” Laura said and Carmilla couldn’t detect a trace of insincerity in her tone. She smiled softly,

“I’m sorry you got lost.”

Laura returned her smile with a small one of her own.

 “You said you moved back here?” Carmilla probed.

“Yup. I went away for college but the editor at the paper offered me my dream job and I couldn’t turn it down. Besides, it’s close to my dad. He’s the one that gave me the bear spray,” Laura said sheepishly, looking straight ahead. It gave Carmilla the chance to let her eyes roam the features of the young woman. From her warm eyes to her button nose and finally to soft looking lips.

“Carmilla?”

Carmilla shook herself out of her stupor, mentally chastising herself for feeling such a way towards a stranger.

“Hm?”

“Do you suppose…? Uh, never-never mind,” the blonde suddenly said, flustered.

Carmilla frowned and came to a stop. Laura refused to look at her. Gently, the brunette placed a long finger under the woman’s chin and directed her gaze back. She could get lost in those stunning eyes. She had never seen a color as warm as that before.

“Cupcake, what is it?”

Laura played with her mittens, eyes averted and glancing everywhere but at Carmilla.

“This might sound a bit forward but, um, suppose I get lost again? Because I never got to visit my mother tonight and I want to try again tomorrow. What do I do? My dad is usually asleep so I can’t call him and I don’t know many people here yet except old friends but they don’t know that I’m actually back yet and-“

“Breathe, Laura.”

Laura’s eyes lit up at hearing her name and she laughed nervously to herself. Carmilla felt her whole body warm. She never wanted anyone else to look at as long as Laura Hollis looked at her like that forever.

“Could I get your number? In case I get lost again?”

Carmilla’s smirk widened but she held her hand out.

“Phone?”

“Oh, uh, right!” Laura stepped away, much to Carmilla’s chagrin, and pulled out an ancient looking flip phone. Carmilla eyed it with clear distaste. “Hey! It’s for safety purposes! My dad doesn’t want the government to spy on me!”

“I didn’t say anything,” Carmilla said as she plucked the phone from Laura’s hand and punched her number in before passing it back. Laura smiled brightly at the screen and shoved the phone back into her pockets. To Carmilla’s delight, she grabbed her hand and tugged,

“We can keep going now, Carmilla!”

“Sure,” Carmilla said, a tiny smile threatening to form.

As they walked, Laura chattered on about herself and her interests. Carmilla nodded along which she normally would not do as she hated incessant talkers. But for some reason, when it came from Laura, it was just cute.

She learned that Laura had gone to college somewhere abroad and graduated at the top of her class with a degree in investigative journalism. She would be working at the paper as the head of one of the departments and putting her degree to good use. Her father was super happy to have her return but she refused to live with him as an independent adult. Still, he remained overprotective and sent her bear spray every other week. Carmilla also learned that Laura was a sugar addict, preferring hot chocolate over coffee and cookies over literally any other food. Her rambling and over exaggerated hand gestures made her seem childlike and naïve but she was clearly anything but.

Carmilla found herself harboring a crush by the time they stopped in front of Laura’s house.

“…and the Doctor has this time machine but it’s cleverly disguised as this-oh! We’re here.”

“You sound disappointed, creampuff,” Carmilla said as though relishing the fact, “Gonna miss me?”

“No! Well…” Laura trailed off and then offered a dorky grin. “Let’s just say that as far as night companions go, you’re one of the best.”

“One of?” Carmilla scoffed. “Now I can’t have that. I need to be _the_ best.”

“You don’t have much competition,” Laura murmured as she looked down at their hands. Carmilla felt warmth run down to her toes. Coughing slightly, she gently extricated her hand from Laura’s grip.

“Well, you’ve got my number. I’ll, uh, get going now.” She turned and started making her way back, mind swimming.

“Ok, be safe!” Laura called after her. “Let’s hang out again soon!”

Carmilla cast one last look over her shoulder. Laura was waving excitedly from her front steps, bathed in the light by her door.

She looked like the sun after an incredibly long night.

 

* * *

 

Soon couldn’t come fast enough.

At least, Carmilla felt that way when she stepped onto Laura’s porch a few days later at a more reasonable hour: Eight.

Why the tiny journalist had invited her over, however, was a mystery. Part of her hoped that Laura wanted to see her as much as she wanted to see Laura. She hadn’t been able to go a day without her mind drifting to the tiny blonde. And her mind drifted often enough that even her co-workers like LaF, especially LaF, made fun of her for it. They had texted almost constantly during the past few days but seeing Laura in person wouldn’t compare.

She stomped on the welcome mat to try and rid her shoes of any lingering snow on her boots from the light dusting the streets had received earlier. She then lifted a hand to ring the doorbell but the door flew open before she could hit the small button.

A blast of warm air greeted her and even better, the sight of Laura Hollis. Carmilla’s lips tugged into a familiar smirk at the vision before her. Laura Hollis was dressed in an oversized sweater littered in different types of cats and skinny jeans. Her socks were decorated with dogs.

“You amaze me,” Carmilla sighed staring at the socks, half in truth and half in derision meant to work the girl into irritation.

Of course it worked.

“Don’t be mean, Carmilla. They’re really warm!”

“And I’m not, so can I come in?” she continued without skipping a beat. Laura nodded, squealing and launching herself into Carmilla the moment she stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

Carmilla was suddenly surprised to have all five-two of sunshine in her arms but she would be lying if she said the contact wasn’t welcome. Laura had her arms wrapped tightly around her neck, forcing Carmilla to place her own arms around the blonde’s waist. She smelled like vanilla and flowers. And the heat she gave off was enough to probably keep Carmilla warm for hours after she left. She sighed contently and rested her cheek against Laura’s soft hair.

“Warmer yet?” came Laura’s muffled voice from her neck. Carmilla nearly shivered at the feeling of Laura’s warm breath against her collarbone and the feel of her lips moving against her skin.

“Five more minutes,” Carmilla mumbled. Laura laughed, puffs of air exhaled quickly against Carmilla’s neck but she stayed put, nuzzling against Carmilla.

But five minutes came to an end and Laura pulled away, eyes shining with delight as she looked up at Carmilla.

“Hi.”

“Hey, cupcake. Miss me much?” Carmilla asked raising a brow.

“Of course I did!”

Of course she did. Laura hadn’t been able to get the snarky brunette out of her head for days. She hoped her gay wasn’t showing too much.

Carmilla pulled her boots off and then hung her leather jacket up next to the heavy coat she had last seen Laura in.

“You don’t get cold in just that?” she asked curiously. Carmilla had been so warm when she had hugged her, but the leather jacket she had worn was cold to the touch. Carmilla shook her head.

“I’ve lived here for a while. Got used to it. And besides,” she added, smirk returning, “coats are for wimps.”

“For sensible people, you mean,” Laura countered. She didn’t give Carmilla a chance to reply, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the hall into the living room. “I hope you didn’t eat because I ordered a large pizza and it’s still hot and someone has to help me finish.”

“I could eat,” Carmilla said. Laura plopped down on the couch, tugging Carmilla with her. Right next to her actually. They were so close, Carmilla had to drape her right arm over the back of the couch. It allowed Laura to snuggle into her side, chattering away and offering suggestions as to what they could watch while they ate.

Eventually, they settled on some action movie that had come out a year ago. Carmilla ignored it for the most part, focusing on Laura talking about her work and people she spent time with and catching up with LaF-

Wait, what?

“LaF as in LaFontaine the Ginger Mad Scientist?” Carmilla asked abruptly.

“I met them in high school.” Laura elaborated. “We kept in touch even though we went to different places for college. How do you know them?”

“They work at the same University as me. They’re teaching introductory chemistry and biochemistry this semester. They regularly blow up the chemistry labs,” Carmilla snorted. Laura could see the affection in those dark eyes. She also tried not to linger on the slight dark circles under Carmilla’s eyes that made her look almost like a vampire.

“Small world,” she smiled. “I had dinner with them and Perry just yesterday.”

“Those two make me gag,” Carmilla groaned. Still affectionate.

Laura’s stomach took the initiative to remind them that there was, in fact, food present so the two helped themselves rather cheerfully despite Carmilla’s disgust at Laura’s half which had pineapple.

One movie turned into two and then three. Laura had no qualms about staying up since she worked from home the next day. But despite the fact that she was a regular binge watcher, she felt sleepy next to Carmilla. It was just so comfortable leaning against her; Carmilla’s arm draped over her, stroking lazy patterns into her shoulder.

She felt safe.

And not in the way that felt like someone was smothering her.

“You still with me, cupcake?”

“Mmph.”

“That’s not really a yes.” Laura could hear the frown in her voice. She felt like she already knew Carmilla and yet she didn’t honestly know that much about her. Suddenly alert, she sat up and turned the TV off before facing Carmilla.

“What do you watch for fun?” she blurted out.

Carmilla looked slightly bemused at the sudden inquiry.

“I don’t. I read. A lot. I don’t even have a TV.”

Laura looked scandalized.

“What about the news?”

“Well, cupcake, you didn’t hear it from me but there’s this hip new thing called the internet that all the young ones are going on and on about,” she replied cheekily.

Laura laughed along and Carmilla felt butterflies in her stomach.

“Okay so other than reading?”

Carmilla looked thoughtful for a moment.

“I have a minor in astronomy. I still love looking at the stars.” She looked at Laura and for a second, Laura detected a shy vulnerability in her eyes. “I was looking at the stars before I ran into you. It’s what I usually do when I can’t sleep.”

Laura furtively stretched her hand out until she could place it on top of Carmilla’s joined ones in her lap.

“Can I ask you something personal?” she said softly. Carmilla simply nodded her consent. “Why can’t you sleep?”

Carmilla played with the soft hand in her lap for a moment before sighing out,

“It’s a long story, cupcake. And not really a cheerful one. I don’t think you’d want to hear it.”

“I do.”

Carmilla’s eyes locked onto Laura’s. Laura stared right back into the brunette’s eyes unflinchingly. They were a swirling depth of emotion. Incredulous but mostly sad.

“Of course I want to hear it from you. Um, when you’re ready. I care but I won’t push,” Laura rambled on.

Carmilla’s lips tugged up into a shy smile. They sat in silence for a little while, hands intertwined, fingers exploring soft skin.

“I should go. It’s late,” Carmilla said. Laura’s grip tightened.

“Wait! I want to show you something!” she said, jumping to her feet.

“Now?”

“Yeah! Why not?” Laura smiled. Like sunshine. At one in the morning.

Carmilla weighed her options. For about half a second and then she decided she really didn’t care.

“Well, not like I’ll sleep anyway.”

 

* * *

 

They ended up outside of a cemetery.

“Is this the part where you kill me?” Carmilla asked dryly. Laura rolled her eyes and clung to her tighter.

“No, silly! It’s just…I didn’t want to force something personal out of you without offering something in return. And besides, the stars are bright out here!”

She was right about that. Carmilla braced herself and let Laura lead her up the path to a secluded tombstone. The lettering was pristine. Fresh flowers were placed at the base. Carmilla leaned in closer.

Anna Hollis.

Oh.

“Laura?” she asked, turning to the girl beside her.

“This is what I was doing when we met.” Laura answered the question without it having been voiced. “Looking for my mom. I knew she was buried here but I hadn’t visited since I was ten. It scared me, being here.”

“How young were you when…?” Carmilla trailed off. Laura’s head pressed into her arm as the girl leaned on her.

“I was nine. It was a really aggressive cancer. But I still remember stuff about her. What she looks like. What she sounded like. The way she danced while she cooked. And I like knowing she’s here now. That she’s just…waiting any time for my dad or me to come up and talk to her.” Laura was smiling, even if her eyes held a bittersweet happiness.

“When I found her the other night, I stayed here for hours. I talked about everything I could. And then I sat here in silence. It always made me angry that she had to leave but I’m glad she didn’t suffer as long as she could have.”

Carmilla turned and enveloped her in a long hug.

“I’m glad you found her, cutie,” she murmured against the crown of Laura’s head.

“Thanks, Carm. I, um, hope it wasn’t weird that I brought you here,” Laura suddenly looked anxious.

“I’m honored to be here,” Carmilla said firmly. “You didn’t have to. You don’t owe me anything. But I am honored.”

They stayed wrapped up in each other’s warmth for a few more minutes before separating. Their hands sought each other’s as they silently exited the cemetery onto the brightly lit street. Upon reaching Laura’s porch, Carmilla came to a stop.

“I should get going now. And you should sleep, cupcake,” Carmilla said gently.

Laura suppressed a yawn terribly and waved Carmilla off.

“Okay, goodnight then. I’ll see you soon? Maybe earlier?” she joked.

Carmilla’s soft smile returned and she drew closer.

“I think I’d like that very much,” Carmilla sighed before pressing a lingering kiss to Laura’s cheek. She stepped away and waved over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Laura.”

Laura waved just as enthusiastically as last time except with only one hand. The other was firmly pressed to a reddening cheek.

 

* * *

 

“Well I told you not to drink it so soon,” Carmilla frowned as Laura sputtered out that her hot chocolate was, in fact, burning hot.

“I hate when you say that,” Laura grumbled, hand reaching out to take Carmilla’s. It had become a habit. Them holding hands. It had also been a few weeks since they’d started spending time regularly. The harsh January wind cut into any exposed skin it could find and Laura yelped, pressing herself to Carmilla’s side to shield herself. Carmilla felt her body temperature rise.

But Carmilla still didn’t have the guts to confess her feelings yet. LaF and Perry had given her knowing looks every time the four of them spent time together. Every text sent between them still sent her heart into a flutter. Her things ended up at Laura’s house and vice versa. Laura seemed to be giving the right signals but she had misinterpreted signs before and well, that never ended well.

“Where should we go, Carm? I don’t have to be in the office until noon.”

Carmilla glanced at her phone. It was only nine, they had gotten breakfast at Perry and LaF’s.

“There’s a bookstore up the street if-“

“Carmilla?”

Carmilla’s blood ran cold. She stopped in her tracks. Laura looked up, concerned. Carmilla looked as though she had seen a ghost.

A woman caught up to them. She had platinum blonde hair, swept up in an intricate braid and crystal blue eyes. She looked like a porcelain doll and exuded the air of royalty. Between her and Carmilla, who was still staring at the ground, Laura felt like her appearance was suddenly too shabby.

“Hi, I’m sorry,” she apologized to Laura, “but I need to speak to Carmilla. Carmilla?” She now looked to the brunette who was pointedly ignoring her.

“Carm?” Laura asked, concern evident on her face.

“We can talk later, Ell. Not now please,” Carmilla finally spoke in a clipped tone.

The woman – Ell – sighed tiredly.

“You never answer your phone when I call, Carmilla. How am I supposed to reach you?” she asked.

Laura had a vague feeling that she wasn’t supposed to be here. But as she turned to step away a little and give the two their privacy, Carmilla’s hand shot out and closed around her arm. Her eyes implored Laura to stay so she did. The interaction did not go unnoticed by Ell.

“I’m sorry. Maybe another time then, Carmilla? Hopefully soon? And, maybe I’ll see you too, er…?”

“Laura,” the blonde quickly supplied. Ell nodded and cast Carmilla one more glance before turning and heading in the opposite direction.

The moment she was gone, Carmilla began to walk too, tugging Laura along. Laura yelped at the fast pace and hurried to keep up. Carmilla only had a few inches on her but the woman walked fast.

“Carm? Carm, are you okay? Who-who was that?” she managed to get out as they wove around the crowded street to come to a stop by a mostly empty side street.

“That was Ell,” Carmilla replied shortly. She leaned against the wall of a brick building heavily, her hands staying on Laura’s arms as she hung her head slightly.

Laura felt her chest ache once more. She moved forward until she could bring Carmilla’s head to rest on her shoulder and wrap her arms around Carmilla’s neck.

“Carm, do you wanna walk home?”

“I-No, that’s the last place I want to be,” she said in a small voice.

“Well, do you want to come over?”

Carmilla’s hands moved to her hips and pushed gently until they were apart. Laura frowned at the distance. The cold invaded their space immediately and Laura shivered slightly.

“Carmilla?”

“I have to go, okay?” Carmilla said. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a while.”

She straightened up and without another word, walked off. Laura stared after her, blinking.

 

* * *

 

Three days.

Three days since Carmilla had contacted her.

Three days Laura spent wondering and worrying and haggling. She had texted, called, left voice messages. She just needed to know if Carmilla was okay.

That was her biggest concern and every other question could wait.

So now, here she was, wandering the dark streets of their town. By herself.

Her father would kill her.

But she had barely been able to sleep knowing Carmilla was out there hurting about something. Every night she had passed Carmilla’s house, ringing the doorbell for a solid 15 minutes. But the irksome woman never opened the door. She was either ignoring Laura and the obnoxiously loud doorbell or she was not home.

Laura was betting her mug collection on the latter.

So she went walking. Looking for places Carmilla would be. LaF had helpfully provided a short list of the places Carmilla liked but even they were at a loss when Laura turned up empty handed.

Tonight was just as fruitless.

So Laura had instead visited her mother, confessed her thoughts and left for home.

Her eyes were cast low on her boots as she walked. Speaking aloud to her mother had brought on a question she wasn’t sure she could answer.

What would she do once she found Carmilla?

It would be nice to know if she were okay but the fervor in which she searched confirmed something Laura was a tad hesitant to admit to herself. She had feelings for Carmilla.

And not the puppy love, crush kind. The whole “We should be in a relationship and kiss, like, all the time kind.”

Laura tripped slightly on the curb and took a moment to gather herself, so lost in her thoughts she was. The light of a street lamp caught her eye and she was reminded of the first time she had met Carmilla, all those months ago.

She had been captivated by the brunette’s beauty – which Carmilla had known and was not shy about teasing her for – and the following weeks had shown Carmilla to be so much more than a pretty face.

The problem was whether or not Carmilla felt the same. Did her ex’s sudden appearance make her want to go back to Ell?

Laura’s stomach twisted with uneasiness.

“Stupid feelings,” she muttered as she continued. And then stopped again. There was no point in denying it. If she found – no, _when_ she found Carmilla, she would make her feelings known.

Laura sighed, deflating a bit at another loss of a night when she noticed that someone was sitting on her porch. Laura dropped her keys.

Carmilla didn’t even flinch at the sound, but she did jump to her feet.

The two stared at one another, several feet apart. Carmilla was unsure of how to approach Laura. Thankfully, Laura had that part covered. The moment she had confirmed that it was indeed the woman of her affections sitting there, she raced up the steps and tackled Carmilla into a hug, slamming her against the screen door in the process.

“What the fu-frilly hell?” Carmilla gasped out as the wind that had escaped her was drawn back into greedy lungs. Along with it came the scent of chocolate chips and sunshine.

“You’re here! You’re actually here!” Laura cried into her chest. Carmilla’s features softened. The distance hadn’t done anything for her feelings. Maybe multiply them ten-fold.

Laura pulled back to look up at her, eyes misty and also…uh…angry?

“I’m gonna kick your butt!” she growled as menacingly as she could. Which really wasn’t all that much. Carmilla felt ashamed all the same. And then like a switch Laura’s pout returned, “But after this hug.”

And the blonde preceded to bury herself back into the other woman’s arms.

Carmilla accepted it wholeheartedly but there were things she needed to say and an apology on the tip of her tongue so she drew back regretfully. Laura looked up at her expectantly, eyes an array of emotion. Carmilla’s hands cupped her face and their eyes sought each other’s almost hungrily. Carmilla softly ran a finger from the corner of Laura’s eye to her cheek, brushing away any tears that had started falling.

“Hey,” she said shakily. Her voice was quiet and not at all like her usual self, Laura noticed.

“Hi,” she responded softly. Carmilla’s hands dropped back down to her sides. And Carmilla stared at their shoes.

“I owe you an explanation. Can we uh, go for a walk?”

“Okay,” Laura acquiesced.

Carmilla linked their hands immediately and led the way.

Laura didn’t recognize where they were going but she said nothing, waiting for Carmilla to break the silence.

“I was out of town,” Carmilla said suddenly. Her dark eyes were glued to their hands but shifted up to look at Laura’s upon speaking.

“Where did you go?”

“To see Ell.”

Oh. Laura felt her stomach churn. The light in her eyes flickered so Carmilla pressed on hurriedly.

“She was my fiancé, Laura. We met three years ago, when I moved here. I fell in love hard and she said yes when I proposed so I thought we’d be together forever.”

“Are you guys together again?” Laura sked, fearing the answer. Carmilla shook her head,

“Absolutely not, cupcake. She’s the reason I don’t sleep at night.”

“What do you mean?”

Carmilla sighed, “Well, about a year ago, I woke up one night and she was just gone.”

Laura felt her heart sinking. Carmilla gave her a sad smile and continued,

“I called her. A lot. Sent a bunch of messages. I stayed up that night for her. I waited for her to come back but she didn’t. Nor did she return the next night or the next or well, you get the point. At some point, she got a hold of LaF and they spoke. LaF said she wanted me to stop contacting her. I found the ring under our bed a week or so later.”

“Carm, I’m so sorry,” Laura said sorrowfully. Her hand squeezed Carmilla’s and Carmilla squeezed back. She sighed, eyes lost in gloomy memories and pushed her hair back,

“I haven’t ever really slept after that. Part of me always wanted to wait up and see if she’d come back. She didn’t. But someone better came along my way,” Carmilla said with a tiny smile. Laura felt her cheeks flush and ducked her head. They crossed the street and Carmilla led them to an empty playground. Carmilla settled onto one of the swings, rocking back and forth lazily. Laura settled into one beside her.

“You went to see her? What did you guys do?” she asked, curiosity eventually getting the best of her again. Carmilla stopped herself and waited until the creaking noise of the swing had passed before answering.

“She wanted a few of her things back. She’s moving somewhere far and I had a couple of her belongings sitting in a box that I didn’t want to go near. So I took that box and drove out of town to meet her. She said she was sorry that she left.”

“Did she say why? I mean, how could she have left you!? You of all people!? You’re the sweetest, most beautiful, intelli- oh!” Laura clapped a hand over her mouth, flushing red enough to match her hat. Carmilla watched her fondly as though she had missed seeing Laura get flustered. Laura met her gaze sheepishly before Carmilla turned her face upwards to stare at the sky.

Laura watched her silently, tracing the contours of Carmilla’s profile as she thought about what to say next. Carmilla resumed speaking, sounding almost at peace.

“I had to think about all of that. I always thought that when I saw her I would beg her to take me back (Laura felt a spark of anger in her belly) but when I actually saw her I felt nothing for her. Not even anger. So I stayed out of town, far from everyone to think. And I realized something.”

Laura watched after her, confused as she suddenly stood up and stretched. Carmilla whirled around, hands reaching out to grip the chains of Laura’s swing and steadying the blonde. Laura stared up at her, captivated by the way the moon light illuminated her. Carmilla seemed to give off an unearthly glow as if she was the moon itself.

“I don’t love Ell anymore, Laura. It took seeing her all fine and dandy without me to realize that. I needed that. I can start sleeping again soon I think,” she added with a tiny grin. Laura smiled back.

“So we can have actual sleepovers?” she asked giddily. Carmilla chuckled softly.

“Whatever you want, Laura. I realized something else too, you know,” she said softly. Voice almost husky. Laura swallowed at the sudden intensity of those dark eyes. Carmilla seemed to be getting closer and closer. Warm hands settled on Laura’s mitten clad ones that still clung to the chains supporting her. She was being pulled closer to Carmilla who swooped down so that their noses were almost touching.

Laura let out a shivering breath, watching it fog in the air between them. Her eyes inevitably dropped down to Carmilla’s lips.

“I really like the stars, Laura. And you’re like the sun with all your warmth. So I think I’d like to kiss you now.”

Laura barely nodded before Carmilla connected their lips. She could feel warmth spread to her toes. She stood up quickly, almost sending them both to the ground, in an effort to meet Carmilla’s lips as fervently as she could. Warm hands came up to encircle her waist, pulling her flush against the brunette. Laura’s hands came up to thread into dark curls. Their lips slid against each other’s until Laura pulled away for much needed air.

Carmilla was smiling down at her with the softest look in her eyes.

Laura shook her head out of the daze and then scowled,

“I was supposed to kiss you first!” she huffed. Carmilla kissed the pout off of her lips.

“So, Laura Hollis, how would you like to join me for dinner later today,” Carmilla asked, eyebrows waggling suggestively. Laura playfully slapped her arm,

“Like I can say no to you,” she giggled. She felt euphoric and from the color in Carmilla’s cheeks, she was not the only one.

“Are you ready to head home?” Laura asked. Carmilla nodded and draped an arm around Laura’s waist before leading the way.

When they were about a block from Laura’s house, Carmilla broke the tender silence once more.

“What were you doing out tonight anyway?” she asked.

Laura smiled and laughed a little, “I went looking for you, silly.”

“I am sorry about that,” Carmilla said, solemnly, eyes betraying how guilty she really felt. Laura waved it away.

“I understand why you did it. And besides, it led us to this so, no hard feelings,” she smiled. Carmilla pulled her close to kiss her temple.

“I must be the luckiest woman alive,” Carmilla breathed.

“Don’t you forget it.”

They slowed down in front of Laura’s house. Carmilla’s grip only tightened.

“I kind of don’t want to let go, cupcake,” she confessed, bringing Laura’s arms up and around her neck.

“So, don’t,” Laura replied, feeling emboldened. Carmilla raised a brow. “You could come in and we could have hot chocolate and just...” she trailed off.

Talk. Cuddle. Kiss. Stare at each other. All good options.

Carmilla smirked, “Well, not like I’ll sleep anyway.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this, it is always well appreciated!
> 
> I have a tumblr but I never really know what to do with it. Feel free to ask me anything you’d like there:
> 
> http://lonelyrealmthesecond.tumblr.com/


End file.
